DIU Blog

1) A mother noticed her little daughter praying. “Please God,” the little girl kept saying. “Bless my father and my mother and make Chittagong the Capital of Bangladesh.”

“Why did you make such a strange request?” the mother asked surprisingly.

“Because that’s what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!” replied the tiny daughter.

2) Teacher : Sumi, if you had 5 Taka and you asked your mother for another 5, how much Taka would you have?

Sumi : 5 taka, Sir!

Teacher : You don’t know your Arithmetic!

Sumi : But Sir, you don’t know my mother!

3) A husband phoned his wife from his office. Husband : I’ve got two tickets for the Photo Exhibition in the Art Gallery.

Wife : That’s wonderful! I’ll start getting ready straight away.

Husband : You’d better do. The tickets are for tomorrow’s show.

4) An examination candidate who knew very little English once attended an oral English examination.

The Examiner : What is your name?

Candidate : Niloy Poul!

Examiner : How many are there in your family?

Candidate : Not many. Me, me sister, me mother, and father.

Examiner : Who does the cooking at home? After a long period of silence, the examiner tried to help. Examiner : Well, your mother or your sister?

Candidate : Your mother!

5) Father : Now Son, be good while I’m away.

Son : OK Dad. I’ll be good for 100 taka.

Father : That’s too much Son! When I was your age, I was good for nothing!

6) First teacher : Too bad, Mr. Nil Akash has the best attendance record in the class.

Second teacher : Why should this be bad?

First teacher : He also has the worst discipline record in the school!

7) Oporajita (in romantic mood) : Parthib, can you say three words that will make me float in the air?

Parthib : Go, hang yourself!

8) The teacher asked his students to draw a ring. As expected, all drew objects with circular shapes. However, one little boy drew a square.

“Why have you drawn a square?” the teacher asked.

“Mine is a boxing ring, Sir,” the boy replied.

9) Nirjhor : Daddy, I got a hundred marks in school today!

Father : Wow… that’s wonderful! For what did you get a hundred in?

Nirjhor : 30 marks for Maths, 50 marks for English and 20 marks for Science. Altogether 100 marks!